Ok, so this entry is for my online friends only. Real-life friends, stop reading now! There's some general whining that I need to get out, and I want to do it without feeling like it will be interpreted as a passive-aggressive cry for help.
Are you gone?
Ok. So, no one here in NYC has made any grand moves toward throwing me a shower, and I can't lie, I'm a little bummed about it. I'll throw a shower anytime, anywhere, for anyone. Proper etiquette says that people can't ask for showers (perfectly understandable!), so I want to be there to host for my friends. Unfortunately, most of the people who would definitely have been there for me moved away in the past year. My Maid of Honor lives in Florida (and she did host a small family luncheon for me back in December, which was lovely), along with all of my extended family. I have some other friends here, but nobody's clearly stated "Oh yes, I will definitely throw you a shower". I had one friend show a little interest, but she seemed to be waiting for me to take the lead, which I really can't do, because I can't exactly host my own shower.
It's not the end of the world, I already had one lovely shower with my family. And it's not even about gifts, it's more about feeling like somebody cares enough about me to put a little shower together. I'm sensitive about parties, I always have been- from a young age, I always felt like other people always had people throwing them parties and that never happened for me. And maybe it's because I act like I don't care because I don't want to be a spoiled brat, but on the other hand, who doesn't love a party? I feel like it's going to the come to the wedding day, and people will be like, why didn't you have a shower? And I'll have to be like, because I have no friends, I'm a looooooooooooooser.
Watch, I'll find out in two days that there is a shower in the works for me and then I'll feel like a jerk instead of a loser.